I went for a walk this morning,, I had this overwhelming urge to go outside and just think, reflect, take pictures, and cleanse my stones in the crick that we have out back. It's cold, but wow was it amazing this morning, I brought with me also my familer, and a bag for collecting pine needles, or anything else that I would wonder upon.
This is for me today, I have been learning so much, and there is still so much to learn. I've been using the resource's that are available to me, and working with what I have. I have met some wonderful women, generous of heart and knowledge. I follow them only to learn, and what Im learning is of love. I have found that my feelings are valid, and I do not have to explain them to anyone. I have learned that my feelings are useful tools to channel energy and strength from, and I have found a new sense of confidence.
Im not a rich person, we live on a shoestring budget, there are times I would wish for more, more stuff money for worshiping?? What a bizarre concept when I think about that. When today I know that just by going outside I am worshiping.
I cant help but reflecting a little about the past, how Im changed now. I was a selfish. ungrateful drunk, that did not appropriate the beauty of life, I took it for granted, and welcomed death, in fact hoped for it. Today I feel the love of life, I do not fear death, I dont think Im ever going to be accepting of loosing anyone I love, but today I love life. Today I am in a place that I am grateful for all the little things.
I've learned in my Wiccan path, that nature is my best friend, and she is wonderful and amazing, today Im grateful for even the snow. I think now more then ever, Im happy, really really happy. I have found friends that accept me the way I am, and some that even come to me with questions. I listen carefully now to the sounds of life the birds singing for spring coming, my dogs eyes when they speak to me. I also listen now more the words of the people who come into my life, and I know that they are there for a reason, that there are no coincidence's.
Im in the process of making my own wand, Im really excited about that, and it was from things that I already had available when it's done I will post it. Im using Hawthorne because of it's protective proprieties. We have a lot of tree's right in the back yard. :) Im also working on my torot training, and actually getting pretty good. Im more familer with the cards and there meanings, even for me which is hard task, to remain, outside of ones self. Im also learning more about the Gods and Goddess,, Im still stuck, well not stuck, but drawn towards Artemis, Im not sure yet why, but I am sure I will find out. :)
I needed that little bit of time to reflect on what is important to me. What my real needs are and not wants. I discovered that I really dont have any needs :) They are met in everyway. Im grateful to be loved by a man who loves me just the way I am,, and Im silly goofy, some what of a clutz,, I cant sing to save my life but do it anyway,, and I love dancing. I also have inappropriate laughter, and find things funny that maybe are not. I have laughter, and to me that's important, appropriate or not. Im not hungry homeless or unloved, and at one time I was all of that. So today Im grateful. My life is far from perfect, I have bills, car insurance that comes before books I want, or candles I want, or flowers that I want But with that in mind I have my needs being met, and I am happy. So with that all being said, and no real reason for this blog except that it is for me. Im going to go back to my studies. I will leave a fun picture that I took on my spiritual walk this morning.. I't just to cute to leave out.
After lessons, I think I might try something new. I've been wanting to learn how to do caramel apples because I love them, but I want to add cinnamon to them just for love, and to be different. Blessed Be with Love and Light Lady Kane )0(