Thursday, February 23, 2012

I have had an epiphany !

I have had an epiphany, again, this has been happening to me a lot lately.  I like to think of it as Goddess telling me what I need to do.

So let me share, which is what she is telling me to do.  I have only just touched on that Im a recovering alcoholic, I have not shared the how I became to be who I am now, and what it is I hope to gain from doing these blogs.  

The pagan blog project came to me, and I was very excited to work with other Witch's /Wiccan's / Pagan's ,, I feel myself "new again" as I had lost so much during my career as an alcoholic.  Hence "New Beginings"  Im not sure if you would know what alcohol can do to a person's mind, or body.  From my mind it stole important information, that I am relearning, from by body it stole years that I will never get back,  It also stole self confidence, and brought to me instead self loathing, and doubt, some of which I still struggle with from time to time.  I have been inspired by other women that In my opinion are Priestess's of love & light, and I trust them, respect there work, and follow as examples of what I would hope to become one day. 

Learn to get in touch with silence within yourself, and know that everything in this life has purpose. There are no mistakes, no coincidences, all events are blessings given to us to learn from.
Elizabeth Kubler-Ross

On September first of 2009, my first epiphany come to me, again Im calling her the Goddess directing me, as it got me sober.  It struck me brighter then any ray of sunshine through darkness that I had covered myself in,, I was shown love, I was shown gratitude,  It was as if someone dipped me the cleanest bath I've ever had, and said okay Kandy, now you got work to do,  show them who you are, and let me reflect in you.  I have not picked up since.  To some of you, you might think "no way" that did'nt happen, she's making it up,,, Im telling you no I am not,  It is what I felt, what touched me, it was a gentle reminder that life is beautiful and I was wasting it,  I had over a half of a bottle of vodka that day, my intentions where to finish it with the day, I threw it out. 

Since then, I have been "relearning" all that I have forgotten.  and because of recovery I also learned a few new things mostly about myself, about others, and really just about life in general.  I've also learned that even though Im new again.  I may have something to offer,, to another new person.  But my thoughts where, at the time that pagan blog project started,  maybe if I tell others what Im doing some other Wiccan, Pagan, Witch, Sender of love and light,, what ever you call yourself,, lol :)) will see what I have done, or am doing and either say, "hey Kandy, you forgot about this part"   or "can I tell you something more about (fill in the blank) ?"   You know something even if a new comer came and said "you know more about this then I, where do I start?"  Then I have helped someone.  That would be a blessing.  So I will take what I can get for now, live each day to the fullest, or at least attempt to.  I appreciate so much more now, I find humor in the strangest things, and I have a new respect for my faith, and for me. 

In "the program" of AA there is a saying, it's "now share what you have"  If you want what we have you too can receive it, it's worth the effort though the steps are hard.  I want to share what I have with who ever will take it, I volunteer at the food bank because I received food from there when I was to busy getting drunk.  I have "cause's" now that I feel very strongly about mostly because I've lived them Domestic Violence, Homelessness, Animal rights, to name a few. I want to give back, but I also want to receive as well.  So Im calling all Wiccans new, and older to the craft, if I have something I will share, If I missed something, or If you feel compelled to share with me via these blogs then please do,, it's the feedback that I will be looking for, and learning from,, 

Thank you so much for your time in reading this,, I do have a tenancy to ramble when I get excited about things.  I hope that you will get to know me better, and  I you, with your thoughts and ideas as well.. Blessed Be with love and light, my She who holds me, hold you as well. Namaste )0(


  1. Blessings to you,dear sister! I have been hit with a wave of emotion here, and am at a loss for words???
    Your honesty, strength,'s quite amazing and inspiring! Thank-you for sharing.

  2. Merry Meet sweetie :))) You are amazing :)) I admire your strength and courage as Autumn said. I love that you are giving back. :))) You chose to rise above and take the higher road and I applaud you for all that you are doing. Much love and a huge hug. :)))))

  3. I have tears. My respect and admiration just keep growing for you. Thank you. <3

  4. Thank you my friends, I appreciate that, it was what others did for me that I now want to give back, I have a lot to learn. Blessed Be with love and light. <3