Friday, March 30, 2012

Attitude of Gratitude

Merry Meet with love and light, and welcome to another blog for the Pagan Blog Project. This week we have G,, and I have to go with what I know for this one. 

It seems to me that a lot, if not all of what I learn in recovery also has so much to do with magic.  It's in fact magical.  As recovering alcoholic or addicts we learn gratitude right away.  It's that we are Grateful to be alive, to be clean and sober, to enjoy each new day with a positive attitude and for the first time we look forward to days where we can learn, and see things in a different and new light.   We learn to change our attitude of self seeking into one of of gratitude. Badabing Magic !

When we look around us as witch's we see, and feel the love and abundance of each new day.  We see and feel it in the trees, the wind, and rain.  We are grateful for what nature give's us.  I have been going through a bit of a dark spot in my life, and yes I will admit, I wanted to drink.  I look at what I've accomplished the last 18 months, what I have learned, and you know what, I am not willing to throw it away, not for a second did I loose site of the gratitude I feel for the people who have helped me on my path, nor for the love I have for all of nature.  That did not change the fact that the dark was there nor did it change the desire to want to drink,  it did however become enough of a reminder that I did not indulge my desire.  

When we are new on our path, magic or recovery we start out excited, there is so much to learn, and we dive in trying to take it all in all at once.  That can not be done.  With both it is, if you are truly dedicated to your path, a work in progress at all times.  They say in the rooms that we did not become addicted in a day, we will not recover in a day.  Same holds true with magic, there is no way one can learn all there is to learn it will be a life time of learning.  What we should focus on, I should say I, is the gratitude we feel for what I am able to learn.  Magic will not take this disease away.  Magic can assist in helping me to overcome obstacle that will occur.  The love for the Goddess, and of nature will be my reminders of what I am working so hard to overcome. For that I am grateful.  Everyone is going to have those times in life where they are not so grateful, or have a hard time finding it, I think that's normal.  What is not normal is "staying stuck" when we have all our needs being met. As witch's we should not become complacent about our path, in knowing it's always there at our finger tips, as a recovering alcoholic complacency can cause a relapse of which there may be no return.  Show an attitude of gratitude even on the darkest days just by saying Thank Goddess, I am alive, thank  Goddess she is holding us even in our illness's no matter what they might be,  Thank Goddess even for the setbacks, and dark area's because with out them, we would not know what real light is.  With love and light always, Blessed Be. 

Friday, March 23, 2012

Finding Faith

Merry Meet, and welcome again to my life (via blog)  This is one for the Pagan blog project, and we are on F again this week.  

I did not have to think long about what I wanted to talk about as it's something that has been coming up for me quiet a bit.  That is faith.  I have had a couple pretty bad days this last month, I have questioned my self, doubted, and to be honest been pretty down right mean to me.  

Last week a question was posted about prayer and meditation in a daily routine, and how did ones feel about it,, was it important to them in there life as a witch.  For me it is.  For me it is the straight strength I get from going every morning in prayer and meditation.  It is what I draw my energy from each day, how I know what is best next thing to do.  I ask for help, I ask what it is I need to do not just for me but for others, in recovery we were taught also to do daily spot check inventory's, of our selves.  To correct mistakes when we make them, and that we would intuitively know right from wrong,  and do the next best thing,  and I love how things when asked for at the right time will just come to you,, that my friends is faith. 

Everything happens for a reason, most of us believe that.  My little pity party I had may well have been just what I needed to get angry enough to take action.  (and btw I was angry at me, does that ever make me even more mad,, lol )  So after a good cry,  (very cleansing)  I just waited.  I am very watchful now of everything,, words, songs, smells, feelings, anything that I see, or even dont see, but can just tell.  (I go by gut instincts, and I trust me.) A good witch knows, and gets answers.  Im watchful for it to appear again.  If it does I know then I am being told something.  
‎"The first step towards getting somewhere is to decide that you are not going to stay where you are."

— JP Morgan

Take out the old to make room for the new!
I could use Hebrews here,, Yes,, I do know the bible,, and I actually like this verse,, it fits.   Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. Heb 11:1  That is what I am going on from now on,, Substance, of myself,, trusting and having faith in me. :)   Why and how this came up for me is actually sort of serendipitous as I was studying,, a word came up that I had no idea what ment,, I went searching for answers.  I just fell onto a site that had all the answers,, like it was just gifted to me.  I felt like I hit the stinking wiccan jackpot.  Then of course the first thing that shows up is trusting to much in others, but every witch use's her/his own feelings.   Another one that has been showing up for me a lot lately is trust in your self, have faith in what you do, and do it.  Then there was the kicker.  Each and every witch has there own path, we are all different, there is no right or wrong way to do something, it's what each individual feels is right for them.  I was like duh. Kandy you know you been working to hard to be so good, and all you have to do is follow your own instincts and have faith in yourself,, the rest is there for you.  Takes a rocket scientist to figure that out right?? lol !!    I do not have to prove myself to anyone, or try to be like someone else to be "good"  I do not have to read the same books, use the same deck of tarot, wear the same jewelry (cause that's just weird anyway) or even talk the same as someone else to be as good, as them,, who's to say they are, and not me,, I maybe better,, I probably am,,  No,, Wait,, Kandy,, You are YOU,, and there it was Faith In me,, dont follow someone else's way of thinking just because you think they are better then you,, No One Is Better Then Me, Different Yes,, But Not Better.. and to me that is faith,  Clear vision, to see that you are just as good as anyone else.. Just different, and that is also very good,, after all variety is the spice of life.. Blessed Be with love and light as always,, and by the way YOU Yes You, Reading This Damm Your good,, now believe it! <3

Friday, March 16, 2012

Fairy's are funny :)

Merry Meet & Welcome.  I can not remember what week this is for the Pagan Blog Project time is just zooming by.  

It's spring again, Yay!!! and this weeks letter is F,, I can think of at least one real colorful letter that I have been practicing to avoid. lol !! I have decided to tell a fairy story, instead, (true) of last spring, it is funny and also a well learned lesson.  (trying not to giggle)

The year of 2011 was one of a lot of changes for me, most of them good, but what stands out to me the most is that this was a spring I was not drunk.  I saw beauty in things again, things I had neglected, and always in the past enjoyed like gardening.

The winter previous had been rough, way to cold, still healing from not just the poison I put in my body, but also a few personal loss's.  I was looking forward to spring, and being back on my path I thought you know Im going to call upon the fairy's  to help with my garden this year, not just flowers, but my vegetables as well. and rumor has it that they love domestic animals and will protect them.  So I started early with very little research (first lesson) I began thanking the fae, chanting, lighting candles, and leaving little gifts for them.  Im grateful that my intentions where good.  

black and white image you could see it better
So the first signs of spring and Leslie (my husband) brings out the lawn mower,, me with the windows open, doing some baking, he comes in and says Kandy you have to stop and come see this,, so I followed him down to the lower yard, and there it was a fairy ring. Im thinking (very dangerous sometimes) that surly this is a sign, the fairy's are going to help me.  :)  So I did do a little research, very little, asked a couple questions from friends in the know, and went outside with my gifts, a couple little things the sparkle, a cupcake, and a ciggerette , they like tobacco, and sweets.  I also brought my Zen so I could sit outside and meditate with them, and ask them for specifically for the help. My needs where honest, and pure. "Help my gardens grow, and keep fleas and ticks away from my pets please, in return my friends foxglove a will plant for your home"  Simple enough right?  Well you know that year was the best for the dogs.  We took maybe one or two off them all year.  Cool Right??  lol sure it was however,, fairies are tricky, and you should be careful when working with them, make sure you research thoroughly!!!  The dogs where fine as I said and our flowers where beautiful, however Leslie and I could not go into the lower yard with out coming back up covered in fleas.. YES,, covered.   I have not attempted to work with fairy's since then, but now I do have another year, and more resource's to use if I do.  My advice, is always ask carefully, for what you wish, for it may just come true. <3

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

I am inspired,

I have been to place's in my life that I am not so proud of, but today I am very proud, not of the poor choice's for that is what made me who I am today, but in that today I can finally make a difference in someone else's life!

The volunteer work I do has always been very important to me, and many of you know that. I started to volunteer because at the time my "husband" and I where in a real need, and I felt that by giving back and would be helping as well as paying back. Today I may be given more of an opportunity to help more then I ever imagined, and in a way that also is important to me.  As well as making a few more amends. There is discussion of returning to a place that helped me in a big way, and although I made mistakes there as well, it was the place I learned the most from, what they said stuck, and stayed.  I may be given the opportunity to help women who where like me, that had no family and no friends to support them at a time in life when that is the most important. 

I dug around in some old paper work that I had from a previous life,, lol  figuratively, speaking, and I came across papers, that I remembered, learned from, and feelings of complete strength came to me.   In this file where my own personal notes, some very bitter, and painful.  I can remember feeling that way, and today I am grateful that I do not feel that anymore.  So I want to share with you one that touched me then, and when I read it now, I am still touched, but in such a way that is no longer one of sorrow.

Why not you?
Today, many will waken with a fresh sense of inspiration. Why not you?
Today, many will open their eyes to the beauty that surrounds them. Why not you?
Today, many will choose to leave the ghost of yesterday behind and seize the immeasurable power of today. Why not you?
Today, many will break through the barriers of of the past by looking at the blessings of the present. Why not you?Today, many will rise above their believed limitations and make contact with their powerful innate strength. Why not you?
Today, many will choose to live in such a manner that they will be a positive role model for the children, family and friends. Why not you?
Today, many will choose to free themselves from the personal imprisonment of their bad habits. Why not you??
Today,many will choose to live free of the conditions and rules governing their own happiness. Why not you?
Today, many will find abundance in simplicity. Why not you?
Today, many will be confronted by difficult moral choices and the will choose to do what is right instead of what is beneficial. Why not you?
Today, many will decide to no longer sit back with a victim mentality, but to take charge of their lives and make positive changes. Why not you?
Today, many will take the action necessary to make a diffidence. Why not you?
Today, many will make the commitment to be a better mother, sister, friend, student, teacher, worker, boss, and so much more. Why not you?
Why not you?
Today is new day!
Many will seize this day. Many will live it to the fullest, Why not you? 
Copyright "Steve Maraboli"

I looked at this today with a new attitude, I am that one today, I am not saying why not me?  but instead saying what can I do to help. What can I do to teach, or learn, or to love!
Today I am so grateful, and look forward to more of the wonderful things that are to come, now it's not just about me, but what I can do for others.  What a wonderful feeling. 
Blessed Be with love and light always. 
Lady Kane

Sunday, March 11, 2012

Thankful today!

Wow I can not begin to explain how Thank Full I am today,, yesterday was a bit of a blur, for real.  I am thankful that I did not pick up though was tempted only in that I had made a mistake to begin with, by accident!

 I have to take med's now, several different reasons, the alcohol was only a self medication for deeper issues that I am conquering!  I suffer from night terrors, have depression, and also a few other minor disabilities, one of the big reasons why Im so active in the community,  but on to my story, Yesterday I had accidentally taken my night time meds instead of my day time.  Not really a big deal except, I slept for 5 hours during the day which is something I have not done since my initial recovery began, and when I woke it was pretty bad in that I was in bad shape.  I felt stoned.  Bad, very very bad for me anyway. An alcoholic can not do anything to jeopardize there recovery and even though it was done by accident, latter in the day (what I remember of it) I almost enjoyed it.  I know it's funny for some, and yeah,, it is.. really.  The important thing is that I did not go back to the mind set of an alcoholic and even though I do have a half of bottle of wine here, that has been here for over a year and half, I did not give into the temptations.  I did have fun though in a sick and twisted sort of  way, I probably said something stupid, or posted something that I would not normally post.  I know I thought my typo's where pretty, lol ... I did do the right thing,, I turned to a friend who has been there for me before in this,, (I love you Mark)  we talked for a bit,, he laughed at me, I laughed at me, and life goes on,, Yippeee!!! 

"remember that alcohol is incurable, progressive, and fatal"   "never become complacent in your recovery"  Quotes from the big book of AA 

This morning was rough, I felt hungover,, and could tell that I had missed dose's of medications. Now I am thankful again,, and fine, more thankful.  Oh,, and did I say thankful,, whew, close call.  Thanks for being there for me Mark especially, but all my friends, (Jean, thank you also, for laughing at me too)  I am grateful to have the people in my life that I do. Thank you White Hat, Rose Dove, and Ravensgrove. My sisters and brothers in faith helped me big, and some of you did not even know it, Blessed Be with love and light always with such a grateful heart! 

Friday, March 9, 2012

Become Empowered !

Merry meet, and welcome, this is week 10 of the Pagan Blog Project, and I am still excited, and grateful, to be part of it.  
Last week when E began, I was at at standstill with idea's and eww, was what I was coming up with, I have to say Im thankful for the newsletters.  This week Im doing Empowerment, what it means to me, and what it can mean to anyone at any time. 

I wont go into gory details, as if you have been following me you know my history or at least some of it. My path has been one of "many sorrows"  :)  and yes that is a smile.  Let me tell you why.  In recovery they teach us so many things, and all of them are very useful in fact if your not in need of recovery I dare any "normal" person to do the 12 steps,, Okay just for fun define normal,,, lol !

I was in yet another institution, this one sort of was making sense to me if it had not been for them cramming "God" down my throat, another blog, but for now let me start with Structure.  What? really? how can structure have anything to do with empowerment, folks, let me tell you it has everything to do with empowerment, and being a witch!   When you are an alcoholic the last thing on your mind most days is taking a shower, being clean to face the day, or whatever comes of it. As a witch I have learned that my baths, taking care of my body, not just regular baths, but what I feed it, and even what I do daily to improve myself. Such as learning, I strive everyday to learn something new, that is exciting to me.   That alone is empowering, the feeling of "okay Im up and ready to face what ever may come to me."

This particular institution who's name I can not use, but if you ask me I will share,, and do recommend :)  taught us to get up at a specif time each day, clean our rooms, take our baths and come to prayer.  We had prayer at bedtime as well very structured.  The prayers taught me alot of my self, we used affirmations, and the power of positive thinking daily.  It was a joke at the "house" that if someone was in a bad mood,, are response would be "Where is your attitude of gratitude"  I also learned in recovery through doing amends, that saying your sorry for a wrong, and being grateful for what you have now, for there forgiveness, or lack of it , is a learning experience, and forgiving yourself!  Being kind to you can make a hugh difference in your life.  Like a glamour spell, take time to make and present yourself in a better light!

Structure is part of being a witch, again I will say for me. We have to be structured to some extent in knowing the phase's of the moon, the cycles of are Sabbets, are very important.  To me structure in my daily life is also very important.  I get up at a certain time, not always wanting to for sure, I do what I do (yes sometimes it takes awhile for the gratitude to kick in, coffee helps, a lot )  but I also do my meals at a certain time, plan for them, and same with a bed time, and let me tell you something about an alcoholic mind, we dont work like that, we do not have structure, and we do not have a bedtime.  As an adult I hated the term "bedtime"  it was like going back to childhood, but them the more I thought about it, the more I've grown accustomed to the idea, I am a monster with out sleep, and again magic ta-da!

Then it struck me they are using the same tools we use.  Maybe I should not say we, I mean me, as a witch.  A power!  Everyone has it.  You need to channel it.  Think positive, be grateful, and love always.  To me that is empowerment.   When I wake now, I do the same as I did at the house, I make my bed, take a bath, and do my devotions. Listen to music.   I feel empowered for the day, and ready for anything. My glamour, and trust me I dont do a lot, but a quick eyeliner and some foundation makes the world of difference.  Something as simple as being cheerful can change anther's mood, a smile, a kind word, and you would be surprised what a simple "Thank you" can do.  You know I've come to understand on my path that this simple tool is indeed a power.  If you feel better about your self and what you do your going to show it to others, as if your whole appearance changes,  others will respond in kind.  That is magic!  

Saturday, March 3, 2012

Magical Jewelry Workshop

Okay some of you may know that I am involved with a local coven, it's a real cool place to hang out with people of like minds, to grow, and share.  It feels to me more like going to a best friends house, or a family home,, like a hippie compound with out the drugs,, lol :)  

Im doing this blog mostly for my friends White Hat Society to many pictures, and to many words to use in threads there,, when we first got there of course there was a lot of gabbing, we have'nt seen each other since Imbolic,, and I know Im not the only one who can say that friendships and feelings can be touched on when in environments like this. 

So when it was time for the workshop Ron, who was in charge, (nervous) of course brought us all into the den where we sort of sat where ever we wanted, he had the room lit only by candle lite and asked us to clear our minds and just relax, calm happy thoughts of what ever settles our nerves.  So then he proceeds to bring out the jewelry. The way he did it was so cool because each link or cord he handed us had some representation of our life, and before he gave it each link to us he asked us to think about our live's the good the bad, whatever came into mind, just concentrate on our live's then asked to pick out of a bucket the link, 

like this
1. Personal life energy bead combination
Next we where asked to concentrate on the things we liked in plants, or trees,, 
2 Plant/wood beads
then it was animals,, any animal, like what ever fish birds, ect
3 shell/bone beads
next we where asked to think about the beauty of the world in terms of gems, and imagine the colors 
4 stone/gem beads mineral world
then we where asked to think about all the people we knew the good ones, and the bad ones, not to focus on anything of evil but of love and forgiveness, looking for closure, or anything to case the relationships. 
5Glass/metal/plastic/beads the human world
next we where to think about the changes in our lives, and how they all connected, each of us given a  wrapped piece  (our surprise) earlier, to open now
6 Web charm link, the web of life
Next we where asked to think about the Goddess, and God, the opposites in everything nature, animal human,, all of it
7 a gold and silver chain link 
then we where asked to take deep breaths go back to our "happy place"  and imagine the best spa treatment, or whatever it is that you use to think of as a cleansing "I like water falls" my happy place is usually in a rain forest surrounded by birds, and animals of all kinds,, rocks and cliffs, and waterfalls,, (another blog) :)
8Bloodstone/hemetite/goldstone good for whole body cleansing energy and healing.
then we where asked to focus, center and ground, usually a good sign, your leaving your "happy place" 
9snowflake obsidain/dalmation jasper/heatite,, yin yang, balance and grouding
at this point we where asked to concentrate wholly on our  inner colors,, our aura, and chakra's 
9-Gray agate/kyanite for body energy, centers and holes in the aura
10 Chakra gemstone charm. a gemstone for each of the seven major body energy centers

At this point he said have fun putting them together talk listen to music and that if we needed his help or wanted anything you know how that goes,, so we each took a turn picking on him,, lol 

Ron also makes his own incense, and oils, and had the pieces wrapped in scented tissue, No Beth is not blowing her nose,, lol,, the stuff was awesome Im saving mine for my alter,, we got to bring home incense as well for blessing our necklace.

It was a great time.  Kat was sick and missed out, which sucks, but everyone seemed to have so much fun, we learned alot, (I like learning) we had a great  time together being our goofy fun loving selves, :) <3

Friday, March 2, 2012

Elementary Elements & Energy

Merry Meet, and welcome again, I am enjoying the time I spend doing the Pagan blog project, and look forward each week to coming up with something that I hope to be a different prescriptive.  I also look forward to the feedback so please comment, if I have missed something, or shared something that in fact you learned from.

Week 9 already,, and we are at E,,, I thought eww,, but then I thought what did you learn first,, that must be my guides because the first thing that came to mind was elements. 

We all use  them, some of us differently, but they are all the same.  I love the elements of nature. Recently a sort of funny topic came up with a sister witch that turned into a great time, we where in the heart of a pretty major wind storm, and she had commented on her status that she loved the wind the power and force, the way it blows her hair around, the smell of the rain, or snow that will follow, being me, I added that it was almost sensual for me in that the way that it touches me, exciting and unpredictable, well it went on from there.. but in truth, all the elements have a great effect on me personally and Im sure to others as well

Earth, Air, Fire, and Water, what they are and mean to me, is that of complete and true beauty.  Each of them in there own fascinating, and sometimes dangerous ways. I worship all of them, Yes Worship, them all. I cant even say that I have a favorite, because each of them are special to me for there own qualities, and if this where a topic for anything other then the PBP some would say "that chick is a freak"  

Earth, wow, Gaea, her beauty is for ever and everyday changing.  Her bounty the gifts she gives us from the food that we eat to the flowers in the fields, and along the mountains cliffs, she is in herself are a whole topic.  I love climbing trees, exploring paths that go seemingly no where, but end up in a beautiful forest thick with smells of her, almost musky scent.  If I could I would post the pictures I've taken, some of them less then a 5 minute walk from my back door, but that is the freak in me.  One of my favorite ways to spend time worshiping her is by walking barefoot on her.  I love the feel of her underneath me she is a great life force for me, and there is so much energy to be gained just by spending quiet time laying down on her, and watching the the clouds go by. Which takes us to... 

Air, air goes everywhere, and anywhere it wants to, or needs to.  Also a life force in it's self. Another whole topic. How we depend on air, really enough said thats just silly, we all breath, but have you ever (and if your spiritual being you have)  taken the time to really feel the air. His scent, on a hot day, where you think you can hardly breath because of the air being so thick, but it's also there, in layers and layers of wealth, and on a cold day when the crispness of him is almost visible, you can see it when you breath.   The wind and that force, is just so incredible and again so much energy.  On a windy day I love sitting outside and using the force of the wind to recharge my spiritual battery.  

Fire, without air would not be, science is not a good topic for me because I dont know it well, but I do know that with out air fire would suffocate. I know that with out fire we would also.  Why?  The sun has to shine, even on rainy days it's there, you dont see it, but it is there. Hmm,, the sun, another whole topic.  What does he do Apollo?  another topic,,  but with out the sun and his force again we would not live.  The air and his wind carry seeds through the air to Gaea, the sun helps to make them grow, for me as a California native, the sun is a thing of true beauty, really what would I have done with out it's force's before prom to make me look beautiful in the summer dress I chose. (wink wink)  Nothing is greater then sitting on the porch and feeling the suns heat upon my skin, this to me is just a warm loving feeling, even through a window in my kitchen. (the romance in me maybe)  Fire now that is energy, try sometime if your able to start a fire, be prepared, make sure your allowed and can handle it in case of  emergencies, and use common sense and caution.  I live in an area where burning is common, luckily in an area that for the most part they dont care what day it is as long as it's not Sunday.  So I can go out and burn.  This time of year is great because from the winter we have branch's to gather limbs that have fallen, ect and can burn.  His energy is also overwhelming and unpredictable.  The energy gained from watching a fire is so exciting, for me again spiritual, and yes I find it to be very romantic, and charges a sensual energy for me, but candles do the same.  So Im just a freak okay.. :P

Water,, again Wow!! I think water is just wonderful in all ways.  I swim, I love to swim in fact. Water skiing, and surfing used to be in the day my favorite sports,, (hate getting older)  but you could not get me out of the water, and at times it's still hard.  Again Im fortunate to live where we do, although Im not in Cali anymore,, I miss the salt water we do have lakes, and rivers.  The rivers here you have to be careful in I here that even if your a great swimmer there is no stopping a sink hole.. that does not stop me from getting in,, and swimming,, (drive's my sweetheart nuts, he does not swim, nor does he like water)  In Cali I used to love the way the oceans currents would take me out, and out and out,, then me and my board would go against the laws, and ride back in,, :) :) :)  talk about a rush!!  Here with the rivers and lakes it's not quiet the same,, but still pretty awesome,, I love the challenge. (the freak in me is showing, if you challenge me,, I will do it. lol. :P  More then that though standing in the rain, or even before it begins when you can smell it coming, gaining that energy is awesome, and also recharges batteries that could be in need of a major boost.  Something I love to do is and have since I was kid, which I also allowed my kids to do, on a summer day when it rains,, go play, puddle jump, it's goofy, and sometimes messy but do it anyway, for me it is freeing, and yeah it's almost like breaking a rule, which to me makes it even more exciting, because it's harmless. Water can cleanse the earth, and drown a fire. Between the qualities of his forces in lakes rivers or oceans, and that of just a hot bath, energy can be gained.

To close I will say that with each of these elements each of them there own topic, so much is to be gained from them,, they are all so special,, and you know what else Witch or not, no one can deny not one of them, there force's of nature, for witch's there energy. What some would call a horrible rain storm, I call fun,, lets dance.  Blessed Be everyone hope you enjoyed and please comment, if I forgot something, or you have something to share please do.. LK