Thursday, October 11, 2012

Happy New Year Witch's

My all time favorite Holiday  I love the leaves changing, the smell of autumn leaves, even the cool crisp air is refreshing and invigorating to me.  For me this is the time of year that I try to get rid of all the access baggage that has been plaguing me, any hard feelings or negative thoughts are burned in a fire.  For me in recovery it helps to know that as a witch Im doing the right thing by fixing me and  not "them"  

Merry Meet, and I welcome you, it's been a while since I've posted anything I've been super busy, and will be even more so the next few months, (quickly, I work with an organisation that allows me to give back when I needed, it's my way of paying forward ie, The Salvation Army)  so with that said, the holidays for me started about two months ago, with the school year beginning.

I think Im going to start doing things a bit different and start sharing what I've learned this past year, in recovery and as a witch.  First I'll start with I feel so overwhelmed with joy and I feel extremely  blessed.  The job that I do is almost becoming more real then volunteer, I've made friends that have become family, and helped others in ways that I never thought I would be able to.  I am grateful for the opportunities  provided to me. 

This past year has brought my kids back, nothing at all to do with being a witch, but everything to do with my lifestyle and the choice's I make today. For that I am also extremely happy, and grateful.  

This being a new year for witch's my new year starts with my having to leave an important circle of witch's, I lovingly referred to as my circle group.  The reason being is I was attacked by a council member and it was suggested to me that I should calm down and take a drink,, hmm,, well not only is this not the kind of environment I want to worship in, but is certainly not the kind of person I want to spend time with.  I've been sober now two years and 10 weeks :D  Yes I am proud, but I can not take credit, the credit goes to the Goddess. With all that being said I've had to rethink my belief's in good and bad witch's, I've had to make choice's that not only where hard but painful and I've done what I feel is right for me.  Maybe not what is right for others but for me.  To feel protected and in control again of my self. My recovery, and my religion. 

Good and bad witch's okay really my opinion only, we are all good and bad.  Laughing I say this  because it is truth, not only do I believe myself to be a very good person, who has made some real bad decisions (in the past) but lets face it people we all think evil or bad things, and also in my opinion that what we think has a way of manifesting whether we do spell work or not.  Does this make us "bad"  and define bad.  I always like to say that I have character defects and I know how to use them,, lol  Who doesn't, and are all defects a bad thing.  ie Im overzealous, and happy to share, that my friends is not a defect, but to some it's annoying.   I am easy to get along with and happy to please and please others, really not a defect. again just annoying at times, I am excitable !!  Wow really is that a defect. What is a defect is saying things in anger that I dont mean, and something that I am working on.  Good then I am not perfect.  I have been told that I need to learn to keep my mouth shut when I get excited about a cause or event,,, Hmmm,, not a good thing to say to me, my selfish side thinks, then I think that if Im angry or hurt by there words then that is more my fault then their's so fix me not them.  Which brings me back to Samhain, gratitude and fires,, lots and lots of fires... lol  the easiest spell I've ever done is with my mad fires, it's safe, self reflective, full of energy, and it harms none., plus it gives Karma (my friend) time to do things her way.  Usually I dont even cast a circle with this, simply saying the words, and doing the burning works for me "burn this anger and negativity away from me,  with karma power of three times three return it to who sent it to thee, if by my own hand release it now and return to me to a positive frame of mind, with loving thoughts now allow. In no way will this spell reverse or place upon me any curse. So mote it be"   I usually have a rather large fire a few times a week general maintenance, and with each issue I have I add kindling to the fire repeating this spell.  Simple candles would work also choosing a color you feel comfortable with.

I like to think I've learned a lot this year, but I think no, I have a lot left to learn. What I do know for sure is that this upcoming year will be one of growth both spiritually physically and mentally. I also hope that it will mean the return of my license, I need to be able to drive.   My recovery and my religion comes first, and with all the knowledge and strength at our fingertips my hope is that our good remains good, and our bad is loving,, * Kandy cackles, love and light always friends. and Blessed be <3

Saturday, May 12, 2012

Jinx, 123 you owe me a coke.

Merry meet and welcome again to my blog for the Pagan Blog Project, we are on week 19. I thought about this a couple weeks before the letter j was due.  I thought that it would be fun and interesting to check and see how many people do believe in Jinx. 
I was surprised that so many do believe in jinx, me I think it's all just silly superstition.  One that I grew up with is that if you where with a few people and two of you said the same thing, at the same time, it was jinxed, you where to say "jinx, one two three you owe me a coke"  another was that if you stepped on a crack you broke your mothers back, and line and your dad's spine.  There are several myths in baseball, Im not a bit sports orientated so  I dont know, and it does not surprise me

Through out history there has been  historical "things" said to be jinxed, The Hope Diamond, any one who has owned it has suffered tragic deaths.  Marie Antoinette did not have a very happy ending. 

One thing I do know for sure is that mind is a very powerful tool, and if it's done correctly (I do not advice it) I am very sure you can jinx someone or somethings.  Jinx is to give someone a case of the "bad lucks"  or a curse on something like the hope diamond can cause bad things to happen.  I think there was a curse on a broom in Harry Potter, lol I never did follow those stories so I dont know about that one either. 

Recently I ran across a spell that I know would work, I commented on it by saying that I think I would have to add that I would want no curse returned, and to harm none.  It was calling upon Hecate to see that justice is done to someone that has hurt another.  As I said it would have worked, would I do it?  It would have to be under extreme circumstances, and very carefully worded.  I've had things come back to bite me magically and though it's never been something really bad, it was a price I paid.  I say careful for what you ask for, Stand back and let Karma do her job, do not get in the way of Goddess's work.  Merry magical workings, and blessed be. 

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Imagination Intent and Integrity

Merry meet, and welcome to my blogger again.  Im late but have had personal, and family matters that have held me up, which is in fact where I got my idea from.  

Between family, then my own goals, (I volunteer as often as I can, and I've been needed a lot lately, I love it, so that's not a big problem, and in fact is becoming more of a permanent situation)  Family however, has been like most I suppose my family is about as dysfunctional as I am, and I love them dearly.  My best friend/sister in law is in the process of a real nasty divorce,  and has had a real difficult time with finance's , custody, everything that goes with that sort of stuff, not to mention teenagers, and ungrateful adult children, that where making it just about as hard for her as they could.
Which takes me to the subject.

My friend was asking for spells that involved winning situations in court case's.  I gave her basic instructions and reminded her that she needs to go with confidence.  I said that in my workings for her I would imagine her going into this battle and winning, coming out with what she deserves, and then some.  We have, (the family) real bad feelings towards her soon to be ex, and I wanted to make sure that my intent was to not harm.  Integrity plays a big part for me and magic.  It's not my intention to "give him what he deserves" if that where case, I would have tried to shrink his head.  lol.  With integrity for what is right for all involved is how I worked the spell.  Imagination, seeing my friend happy, financially secure, and at peace finally.  Intent, to do no harm nor bend a will let Helen and George grow apart, remain friends.  Do to each other what ones would want done.  I wont go into the full workings of it, but you can see my intent was clearly for the right thing to come to pass. 

I firmly believe that any magic can be done with integrity, imagination, and intent alone. The candles, and wands, and stones, or charms to me are nice to have but if you believe enough in what your doing is the right thing, anything can be accomplished. If your integrity is honest,  your intent clearly for the good of all, and your imagination strong and confident, the rest is smoke and mirrors.  Blessed Be in all things )0(

Saturday, April 21, 2012

Hades is not hell !

Merry Meet and welcome to another Pagan Blog Project we are on week 16 of the project, and I can hardly believe it.  Im still having fun, and learning with these through others blogs as well as my own, and Im pretty sure that, that is what Rowan intentions were.  Love and light to you Priestess Rowan, thank you so much for the learning experience. 

This week Im going to do one that I think is tricky, for me anyway it was.  First you have to know that I do come from a background of mostly Baptist Christian upbringing, my sister was the witch, my mom was also but I was not aware of it until later in life, but she insisted that we go to church every Sunday.  Im grateful now that she did, it gave me the experience, and knowledge to know God, and yes ladies and gentlemen Jesus too.  <3  Not this blog though lol  This one is on Hades, underworld, hell, and what I believe to be my truth. (mine may not be the same as some other pagan's) but through study and research it's the one that I feel comfortable with. 

So here goes,, First I have to say as most of us will Wiccan, witch, pagan, yada yada, what ever you want to call yourself.  I like Wiccan Witch myself,  I, we do not believe nor worship the devil.  So that's out.  Hell as in "you will go to hell"  If you do what ever evil deed it that you do,  I do not believe that either,  example from Christian background Ecclesiastes 9:5 says that the dead know nothing, or Mathew 13:42 where there is burning and gnashing of teeth. Confusing right there because if the dead know nothing...  Well ?  and,  if the decision is based on the 10 commandments,  emm,,, I dont think that to many people are going to make it to heaven. Really lol <3 Okay that's for the hell part, is there an underworld?  Yes I believe that there is however it's not the burning an gnashing of teeth.  I believe it's just another of many parallel universe's.    

Hades was just a God like any other Zeus's  brother.  He had other siblings, a job, and a home, his home was the underworld "to be hidden" in Greek mythology, he was not the devil, but choosen God of that domain.  He is not the angel of Death either.  He is called the enemy of all life, God's and men,I think he has some real mommy issues and big brother jealousy goin on.  Im taking it he does not play well with others he is pouty, greedy, and spoiled.  He  had to trick his wife, but I think she eventually fell in love. Btw, she's his niece.   He was given the underworld when Poseidon was given the ocean, and Zeus the sky's.  Taking an oath with or by Hades is believed to be a bond of life or death.  So I dont imagine him or "there/underworld" to be a pleasant place, nor a place of rest, but I do think, or feel that it would be a place to think of decisions that you made and maybe consequences. Some stories have it that the underworld is also a nice place lush with life, and that no snow falls there,  maybe that's where ice water in hell came from.   In mythology it's confusing also.  Persephone always returns to Hades as her oath?  Or from love we dont know, we do know that the Greeks/Romans believe that to be the reason for the seasons changing.  Balancing out the seasons, as her mother was Demeter, the goddess of harvest.  Talk about dysfunctional families,, Geez.

So where does this fit with Hell & Wiccan or Hades or where do we go blah blah blah.  First the only hell there is, is the one that some create, my opinion only.  There is no devil, there are demons, and possibly from them come the evil that people do, that I dont know for sure but evil is certainly a factor.  What I believe is that this life is a trail, that when we pass we go to Summerlands,  where we are refreshed  and if our lessons in life have not been learned we do life again change our cloths so to speak. 

Some may think life a trail and when you die you go to the waiting room like in Beetlejuice, find out what you did wrong, change your cloths and do it again,, only until you get it right do you go to the Summerlands.  I do know pagans well enough to know that I would never argue any point of view, in fact welcome it.  I also know that our lessons are to be of love, if you have loved enough, forgiven quickly, ect.  Im pretty sure my lessons are still to be learned, so I'll be back.  Why we say Merry Meet, Merry Part, and Merry Meet Again,, till again friends thanks, and hope you enjoyed <3

Saturday, April 14, 2012

Hawthorne & Beltane

 Hawthorn tree in our back yard
Merry meet, and welcome to another of my blogs for the Pagan Blog Project.  I am so excited about this one and am actually writing it underneath my Hawthorne tree.  *Kandy giggles*  and I have a fire burning near by.  :)

My Wand
My blog today will be on the Hawthorn tree, and it works for me because it's so close to Beltane.  When I did my research on magical trees for my wand crafting I found that Hawthorn had the proprieties I wanted in a wand.  It's strong with the Fae, very protective, is good for any kind of magic that draws things towards you, and is a fire tree,or rather an elemental fire, and that it does burn extremely hot, but I also found that the berries are good for anyone with high blood pressure, or weak hearts.  You can make tea with them,, which I now do. It's really good for energy to give you a little boost.   I thought they where just good tasting (a little sour) they sure quench your thirst on a hot day.  The berries dont ripen until August or so, but this month, for sure by May we will have blossoms! 

 Hawthorn flowers
Traditionally during Beltane the May pole will have Hawthorn flowers placed on top, and fair maidens will braid the flowers in there hair,  Representing purity, growth, and renewal.  The flowers first blooms are a symbol of the days being longer, and
ready for fertilization, berries will follow.  With the colors of the may pole being wound around the representing the cycle of life or spiral, renewal, and birth the pole it's self being a phallic symbol of the God and his readiness, and colors and the flowers on top of the pole being a symbol of the Goddess's purity and readiness for birth. Fire is an extremely passionate element, Hawthorn burns the hottest.  
Little fire I had going on :)

Beltane being a fire festival it is no wonder they would want the hottest burning wood.  With this holiday being so sexual in nature  it is probably one of the worst for us witch's in that the reputation being us "dancing naked"  and fornicating, giving us a bad rep.  sort of a shame really because if they took they took the time to study the Sabbat they maybe would understand that being naked & dancing for some of us is just an excellent way to raise energy.  *blushing yes I am speaking from experience on this one, and as for the fornicating, that is for the God & Goddess.  Mine is behind closed doors and in private. lol <3

Friday, April 6, 2012

Great Gaia

Merry Meet, and welcome again!  Today I think is week 11 of the Pagan Blog Project Im loosing count.  We are on G again, and I decided right away what I was going to do this blog on.   For Gaia is with out a doubt my Savior, my Mother, my friend.  I love her in all seasons, and honestly did not feel as passionate about some "cause's" as I do about her's until I really started my path of Pagan, Wiccan, & lightworker.  I am very sure that many of us will be doing the same blog, being Pagans they will all be different and wonderful in there own ways,, I love that about Pagan's for sure. So with out further adio about Gaia....

There are so many myths & legends of her, but with out a doubt my favorite is that of the Greek.  Where out of Chaos she was formed.. I love that.  Her children, (according to Greeks) where some large monsters,  (Cyclops's)  that Uranus  ate for fear of them besting him.  Gaia was always saddened by this.  I personally think that Gaia is a sad Mother, that only desires our love, but that's just me.  Okay the stories are confusing there because Im not sure with mythology being what it is, but you get the general idea, so by herself she created Uranus, Pontus,  and Ourea. confusing it is wether Chaos father, or Uranus father, from her became the Titans, who are also my favorite stories, and her children, not bedtime stories for sure.  

There is so much to  learn about her, and everyday I am grateful to her. The Native American Indians are (in my opinion) the only one's that even come close to giving her the respect she deserves for there belief is that she is everything for with out nothing would be. Truth there.  One of the major commandments for there people is to treat Earth and all that dwell upon her with respect.  To never take more then you need. & To give back. Sounds familer to me.  With everything in life we have Gaia to thank for it, and I think that many take that for granted. 

 Here comes the passion, we must start, if it's not to late already to take care of her.  She has taken care of us in more ways then we even can know & to me it's no wonder that "natural disasters" occur, it might well be her way of making us stop and pay attention.  There are so many simple ways that we can help her. Recycle, is a good start, I burn my garbage, and recycle what cant be burned, Admittedly this is something that I just started to do, also plant.  Take advantage of the Aurbur Foundation, a lot of times they have trees that they will give away.  This is one that I have been doing for a few years. 

Gaia supports us, literally.  She is beautiful with her fine cloths each season, and the many blessings she gives us, I believe that as witch's it should be our duty to love her, for truly she is the Mother of all.  When I say Goddess, or try to imagine what a Goddess would look like I think of Earth, and from it I can feel, just the abundance of her love, for that I feel so blessed and am so grateful!! Blessed Be )0(

,  Heloook
f the Land

The old people came literally to love the soil, and they sat or reclined on the ground with a feeling of being close to a mothering power. It was good for the skin to touch the earth, and the old people liked to remove their moccasins and walk with bare feet on the sacred earth.
Their tipis were built upon the earth and their altars were made of earth. The birds that flew in the air came to rest upon the earth, and it was the final abiding place of all things that lived and grew.
The soul was soothing, strengthening, cleansing, and healing. This is why the old Indian still sits upon the earth instead of propping himself up and away from its life-giving forces. For him, to sit or lie upon the ground is to be able to think more deeply and to feel more keenly.
He can see more clearly into the mysteries of life and come closer in kinship to other lives about him. 

- Chief Luther Standing Bear -
Teton Sioux, Born 1

Love of the Land
The old people came literally to love the soil, and they sat or reclined on the ground with a feeling of being close to a mothering power. It was good for the skin to touch the earth, and the old people liked to remove their moccasins and walk with bare feet on the sacred earth.
Their tipis were built upon the earth and their altars were made of earth. The birds that flew in the air came to rest upon the earth, and it was the final abiding place of all things that lived and grew.
The soul was soothing, strengthening, cleansing, and healing. This is why the old Indian still sits upon the earth instead of propping himself up and away from its life-giving forces. For him, to sit or lie upon the ground is to be able to think more deeply and to feel more keenly.
He can see more clearly into the mysteries of life and come closer in kinship to other lives about him. 

- Chief Luther Standing Bear -
Teton Sioux, Born 1868

Friday, March 30, 2012

Attitude of Gratitude

Merry Meet with love and light, and welcome to another blog for the Pagan Blog Project. This week we have G,, and I have to go with what I know for this one. 

It seems to me that a lot, if not all of what I learn in recovery also has so much to do with magic.  It's in fact magical.  As recovering alcoholic or addicts we learn gratitude right away.  It's that we are Grateful to be alive, to be clean and sober, to enjoy each new day with a positive attitude and for the first time we look forward to days where we can learn, and see things in a different and new light.   We learn to change our attitude of self seeking into one of of gratitude. Badabing Magic !

When we look around us as witch's we see, and feel the love and abundance of each new day.  We see and feel it in the trees, the wind, and rain.  We are grateful for what nature give's us.  I have been going through a bit of a dark spot in my life, and yes I will admit, I wanted to drink.  I look at what I've accomplished the last 18 months, what I have learned, and you know what, I am not willing to throw it away, not for a second did I loose site of the gratitude I feel for the people who have helped me on my path, nor for the love I have for all of nature.  That did not change the fact that the dark was there nor did it change the desire to want to drink,  it did however become enough of a reminder that I did not indulge my desire.  

When we are new on our path, magic or recovery we start out excited, there is so much to learn, and we dive in trying to take it all in all at once.  That can not be done.  With both it is, if you are truly dedicated to your path, a work in progress at all times.  They say in the rooms that we did not become addicted in a day, we will not recover in a day.  Same holds true with magic, there is no way one can learn all there is to learn it will be a life time of learning.  What we should focus on, I should say I, is the gratitude we feel for what I am able to learn.  Magic will not take this disease away.  Magic can assist in helping me to overcome obstacle that will occur.  The love for the Goddess, and of nature will be my reminders of what I am working so hard to overcome. For that I am grateful.  Everyone is going to have those times in life where they are not so grateful, or have a hard time finding it, I think that's normal.  What is not normal is "staying stuck" when we have all our needs being met. As witch's we should not become complacent about our path, in knowing it's always there at our finger tips, as a recovering alcoholic complacency can cause a relapse of which there may be no return.  Show an attitude of gratitude even on the darkest days just by saying Thank Goddess, I am alive, thank  Goddess she is holding us even in our illness's no matter what they might be,  Thank Goddess even for the setbacks, and dark area's because with out them, we would not know what real light is.  With love and light always, Blessed Be. 

Friday, March 23, 2012

Finding Faith

Merry Meet, and welcome again to my life (via blog)  This is one for the Pagan blog project, and we are on F again this week.  

I did not have to think long about what I wanted to talk about as it's something that has been coming up for me quiet a bit.  That is faith.  I have had a couple pretty bad days this last month, I have questioned my self, doubted, and to be honest been pretty down right mean to me.  

Last week a question was posted about prayer and meditation in a daily routine, and how did ones feel about it,, was it important to them in there life as a witch.  For me it is.  For me it is the straight strength I get from going every morning in prayer and meditation.  It is what I draw my energy from each day, how I know what is best next thing to do.  I ask for help, I ask what it is I need to do not just for me but for others, in recovery we were taught also to do daily spot check inventory's, of our selves.  To correct mistakes when we make them, and that we would intuitively know right from wrong,  and do the next best thing,  and I love how things when asked for at the right time will just come to you,, that my friends is faith. 

Everything happens for a reason, most of us believe that.  My little pity party I had may well have been just what I needed to get angry enough to take action.  (and btw I was angry at me, does that ever make me even more mad,, lol )  So after a good cry,  (very cleansing)  I just waited.  I am very watchful now of everything,, words, songs, smells, feelings, anything that I see, or even dont see, but can just tell.  (I go by gut instincts, and I trust me.) A good witch knows, and gets answers.  Im watchful for it to appear again.  If it does I know then I am being told something.  
‎"The first step towards getting somewhere is to decide that you are not going to stay where you are."

— JP Morgan

Take out the old to make room for the new!
I could use Hebrews here,, Yes,, I do know the bible,, and I actually like this verse,, it fits.   Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. Heb 11:1  That is what I am going on from now on,, Substance, of myself,, trusting and having faith in me. :)   Why and how this came up for me is actually sort of serendipitous as I was studying,, a word came up that I had no idea what ment,, I went searching for answers.  I just fell onto a site that had all the answers,, like it was just gifted to me.  I felt like I hit the stinking wiccan jackpot.  Then of course the first thing that shows up is trusting to much in others, but every witch use's her/his own feelings.   Another one that has been showing up for me a lot lately is trust in your self, have faith in what you do, and do it.  Then there was the kicker.  Each and every witch has there own path, we are all different, there is no right or wrong way to do something, it's what each individual feels is right for them.  I was like duh. Kandy you know you been working to hard to be so good, and all you have to do is follow your own instincts and have faith in yourself,, the rest is there for you.  Takes a rocket scientist to figure that out right?? lol !!    I do not have to prove myself to anyone, or try to be like someone else to be "good"  I do not have to read the same books, use the same deck of tarot, wear the same jewelry (cause that's just weird anyway) or even talk the same as someone else to be as good, as them,, who's to say they are, and not me,, I maybe better,, I probably am,,  No,, Wait,, Kandy,, You are YOU,, and there it was Faith In me,, dont follow someone else's way of thinking just because you think they are better then you,, No One Is Better Then Me, Different Yes,, But Not Better.. and to me that is faith,  Clear vision, to see that you are just as good as anyone else.. Just different, and that is also very good,, after all variety is the spice of life.. Blessed Be with love and light as always,, and by the way YOU Yes You, Reading This Damm Your good,, now believe it! <3

Friday, March 16, 2012

Fairy's are funny :)

Merry Meet & Welcome.  I can not remember what week this is for the Pagan Blog Project time is just zooming by.  

It's spring again, Yay!!! and this weeks letter is F,, I can think of at least one real colorful letter that I have been practicing to avoid. lol !! I have decided to tell a fairy story, instead, (true) of last spring, it is funny and also a well learned lesson.  (trying not to giggle)

The year of 2011 was one of a lot of changes for me, most of them good, but what stands out to me the most is that this was a spring I was not drunk.  I saw beauty in things again, things I had neglected, and always in the past enjoyed like gardening.

The winter previous had been rough, way to cold, still healing from not just the poison I put in my body, but also a few personal loss's.  I was looking forward to spring, and being back on my path I thought you know Im going to call upon the fairy's  to help with my garden this year, not just flowers, but my vegetables as well. and rumor has it that they love domestic animals and will protect them.  So I started early with very little research (first lesson) I began thanking the fae, chanting, lighting candles, and leaving little gifts for them.  Im grateful that my intentions where good.  

black and white image you could see it better
So the first signs of spring and Leslie (my husband) brings out the lawn mower,, me with the windows open, doing some baking, he comes in and says Kandy you have to stop and come see this,, so I followed him down to the lower yard, and there it was a fairy ring. Im thinking (very dangerous sometimes) that surly this is a sign, the fairy's are going to help me.  :)  So I did do a little research, very little, asked a couple questions from friends in the know, and went outside with my gifts, a couple little things the sparkle, a cupcake, and a ciggerette , they like tobacco, and sweets.  I also brought my Zen so I could sit outside and meditate with them, and ask them for specifically for the help. My needs where honest, and pure. "Help my gardens grow, and keep fleas and ticks away from my pets please, in return my friends foxglove a will plant for your home"  Simple enough right?  Well you know that year was the best for the dogs.  We took maybe one or two off them all year.  Cool Right??  lol sure it was however,, fairies are tricky, and you should be careful when working with them, make sure you research thoroughly!!!  The dogs where fine as I said and our flowers where beautiful, however Leslie and I could not go into the lower yard with out coming back up covered in fleas.. YES,, covered.   I have not attempted to work with fairy's since then, but now I do have another year, and more resource's to use if I do.  My advice, is always ask carefully, for what you wish, for it may just come true. <3

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

I am inspired,

I have been to place's in my life that I am not so proud of, but today I am very proud, not of the poor choice's for that is what made me who I am today, but in that today I can finally make a difference in someone else's life!

The volunteer work I do has always been very important to me, and many of you know that. I started to volunteer because at the time my "husband" and I where in a real need, and I felt that by giving back and would be helping as well as paying back. Today I may be given more of an opportunity to help more then I ever imagined, and in a way that also is important to me.  As well as making a few more amends. There is discussion of returning to a place that helped me in a big way, and although I made mistakes there as well, it was the place I learned the most from, what they said stuck, and stayed.  I may be given the opportunity to help women who where like me, that had no family and no friends to support them at a time in life when that is the most important. 

I dug around in some old paper work that I had from a previous life,, lol  figuratively, speaking, and I came across papers, that I remembered, learned from, and feelings of complete strength came to me.   In this file where my own personal notes, some very bitter, and painful.  I can remember feeling that way, and today I am grateful that I do not feel that anymore.  So I want to share with you one that touched me then, and when I read it now, I am still touched, but in such a way that is no longer one of sorrow.

Why not you?
Today, many will waken with a fresh sense of inspiration. Why not you?
Today, many will open their eyes to the beauty that surrounds them. Why not you?
Today, many will choose to leave the ghost of yesterday behind and seize the immeasurable power of today. Why not you?
Today, many will break through the barriers of of the past by looking at the blessings of the present. Why not you?Today, many will rise above their believed limitations and make contact with their powerful innate strength. Why not you?
Today, many will choose to live in such a manner that they will be a positive role model for the children, family and friends. Why not you?
Today, many will choose to free themselves from the personal imprisonment of their bad habits. Why not you??
Today,many will choose to live free of the conditions and rules governing their own happiness. Why not you?
Today, many will find abundance in simplicity. Why not you?
Today, many will be confronted by difficult moral choices and the will choose to do what is right instead of what is beneficial. Why not you?
Today, many will decide to no longer sit back with a victim mentality, but to take charge of their lives and make positive changes. Why not you?
Today, many will take the action necessary to make a diffidence. Why not you?
Today, many will make the commitment to be a better mother, sister, friend, student, teacher, worker, boss, and so much more. Why not you?
Why not you?
Today is new day!
Many will seize this day. Many will live it to the fullest, Why not you? 
Copyright "Steve Maraboli"

I looked at this today with a new attitude, I am that one today, I am not saying why not me?  but instead saying what can I do to help. What can I do to teach, or learn, or to love!
Today I am so grateful, and look forward to more of the wonderful things that are to come, now it's not just about me, but what I can do for others.  What a wonderful feeling. 
Blessed Be with love and light always. 
Lady Kane

Sunday, March 11, 2012

Thankful today!

Wow I can not begin to explain how Thank Full I am today,, yesterday was a bit of a blur, for real.  I am thankful that I did not pick up though was tempted only in that I had made a mistake to begin with, by accident!

 I have to take med's now, several different reasons, the alcohol was only a self medication for deeper issues that I am conquering!  I suffer from night terrors, have depression, and also a few other minor disabilities, one of the big reasons why Im so active in the community,  but on to my story, Yesterday I had accidentally taken my night time meds instead of my day time.  Not really a big deal except, I slept for 5 hours during the day which is something I have not done since my initial recovery began, and when I woke it was pretty bad in that I was in bad shape.  I felt stoned.  Bad, very very bad for me anyway. An alcoholic can not do anything to jeopardize there recovery and even though it was done by accident, latter in the day (what I remember of it) I almost enjoyed it.  I know it's funny for some, and yeah,, it is.. really.  The important thing is that I did not go back to the mind set of an alcoholic and even though I do have a half of bottle of wine here, that has been here for over a year and half, I did not give into the temptations.  I did have fun though in a sick and twisted sort of  way, I probably said something stupid, or posted something that I would not normally post.  I know I thought my typo's where pretty, lol ... I did do the right thing,, I turned to a friend who has been there for me before in this,, (I love you Mark)  we talked for a bit,, he laughed at me, I laughed at me, and life goes on,, Yippeee!!! 

"remember that alcohol is incurable, progressive, and fatal"   "never become complacent in your recovery"  Quotes from the big book of AA 

This morning was rough, I felt hungover,, and could tell that I had missed dose's of medications. Now I am thankful again,, and fine, more thankful.  Oh,, and did I say thankful,, whew, close call.  Thanks for being there for me Mark especially, but all my friends, (Jean, thank you also, for laughing at me too)  I am grateful to have the people in my life that I do. Thank you White Hat, Rose Dove, and Ravensgrove. My sisters and brothers in faith helped me big, and some of you did not even know it, Blessed Be with love and light always with such a grateful heart! 

Friday, March 9, 2012

Become Empowered !

Merry meet, and welcome, this is week 10 of the Pagan Blog Project, and I am still excited, and grateful, to be part of it.  
Last week when E began, I was at at standstill with idea's and eww, was what I was coming up with, I have to say Im thankful for the newsletters.  This week Im doing Empowerment, what it means to me, and what it can mean to anyone at any time. 

I wont go into gory details, as if you have been following me you know my history or at least some of it. My path has been one of "many sorrows"  :)  and yes that is a smile.  Let me tell you why.  In recovery they teach us so many things, and all of them are very useful in fact if your not in need of recovery I dare any "normal" person to do the 12 steps,, Okay just for fun define normal,,, lol !

I was in yet another institution, this one sort of was making sense to me if it had not been for them cramming "God" down my throat, another blog, but for now let me start with Structure.  What? really? how can structure have anything to do with empowerment, folks, let me tell you it has everything to do with empowerment, and being a witch!   When you are an alcoholic the last thing on your mind most days is taking a shower, being clean to face the day, or whatever comes of it. As a witch I have learned that my baths, taking care of my body, not just regular baths, but what I feed it, and even what I do daily to improve myself. Such as learning, I strive everyday to learn something new, that is exciting to me.   That alone is empowering, the feeling of "okay Im up and ready to face what ever may come to me."

This particular institution who's name I can not use, but if you ask me I will share,, and do recommend :)  taught us to get up at a specif time each day, clean our rooms, take our baths and come to prayer.  We had prayer at bedtime as well very structured.  The prayers taught me alot of my self, we used affirmations, and the power of positive thinking daily.  It was a joke at the "house" that if someone was in a bad mood,, are response would be "Where is your attitude of gratitude"  I also learned in recovery through doing amends, that saying your sorry for a wrong, and being grateful for what you have now, for there forgiveness, or lack of it , is a learning experience, and forgiving yourself!  Being kind to you can make a hugh difference in your life.  Like a glamour spell, take time to make and present yourself in a better light!

Structure is part of being a witch, again I will say for me. We have to be structured to some extent in knowing the phase's of the moon, the cycles of are Sabbets, are very important.  To me structure in my daily life is also very important.  I get up at a certain time, not always wanting to for sure, I do what I do (yes sometimes it takes awhile for the gratitude to kick in, coffee helps, a lot )  but I also do my meals at a certain time, plan for them, and same with a bed time, and let me tell you something about an alcoholic mind, we dont work like that, we do not have structure, and we do not have a bedtime.  As an adult I hated the term "bedtime"  it was like going back to childhood, but them the more I thought about it, the more I've grown accustomed to the idea, I am a monster with out sleep, and again magic ta-da!

Then it struck me they are using the same tools we use.  Maybe I should not say we, I mean me, as a witch.  A power!  Everyone has it.  You need to channel it.  Think positive, be grateful, and love always.  To me that is empowerment.   When I wake now, I do the same as I did at the house, I make my bed, take a bath, and do my devotions. Listen to music.   I feel empowered for the day, and ready for anything. My glamour, and trust me I dont do a lot, but a quick eyeliner and some foundation makes the world of difference.  Something as simple as being cheerful can change anther's mood, a smile, a kind word, and you would be surprised what a simple "Thank you" can do.  You know I've come to understand on my path that this simple tool is indeed a power.  If you feel better about your self and what you do your going to show it to others, as if your whole appearance changes,  others will respond in kind.  That is magic!  

Saturday, March 3, 2012

Magical Jewelry Workshop

Okay some of you may know that I am involved with a local coven, it's a real cool place to hang out with people of like minds, to grow, and share.  It feels to me more like going to a best friends house, or a family home,, like a hippie compound with out the drugs,, lol :)  

Im doing this blog mostly for my friends White Hat Society to many pictures, and to many words to use in threads there,, when we first got there of course there was a lot of gabbing, we have'nt seen each other since Imbolic,, and I know Im not the only one who can say that friendships and feelings can be touched on when in environments like this. 

So when it was time for the workshop Ron, who was in charge, (nervous) of course brought us all into the den where we sort of sat where ever we wanted, he had the room lit only by candle lite and asked us to clear our minds and just relax, calm happy thoughts of what ever settles our nerves.  So then he proceeds to bring out the jewelry. The way he did it was so cool because each link or cord he handed us had some representation of our life, and before he gave it each link to us he asked us to think about our live's the good the bad, whatever came into mind, just concentrate on our live's then asked to pick out of a bucket the link, 

like this
1. Personal life energy bead combination
Next we where asked to concentrate on the things we liked in plants, or trees,, 
2 Plant/wood beads
then it was animals,, any animal, like what ever fish birds, ect
3 shell/bone beads
next we where asked to think about the beauty of the world in terms of gems, and imagine the colors 
4 stone/gem beads mineral world
then we where asked to think about all the people we knew the good ones, and the bad ones, not to focus on anything of evil but of love and forgiveness, looking for closure, or anything to case the relationships. 
5Glass/metal/plastic/beads the human world
next we where to think about the changes in our lives, and how they all connected, each of us given a  wrapped piece  (our surprise) earlier, to open now
6 Web charm link, the web of life
Next we where asked to think about the Goddess, and God, the opposites in everything nature, animal human,, all of it
7 a gold and silver chain link 
then we where asked to take deep breaths go back to our "happy place"  and imagine the best spa treatment, or whatever it is that you use to think of as a cleansing "I like water falls" my happy place is usually in a rain forest surrounded by birds, and animals of all kinds,, rocks and cliffs, and waterfalls,, (another blog) :)
8Bloodstone/hemetite/goldstone good for whole body cleansing energy and healing.
then we where asked to focus, center and ground, usually a good sign, your leaving your "happy place" 
9snowflake obsidain/dalmation jasper/heatite,, yin yang, balance and grouding
at this point we where asked to concentrate wholly on our  inner colors,, our aura, and chakra's 
9-Gray agate/kyanite for body energy, centers and holes in the aura
10 Chakra gemstone charm. a gemstone for each of the seven major body energy centers

At this point he said have fun putting them together talk listen to music and that if we needed his help or wanted anything you know how that goes,, so we each took a turn picking on him,, lol 

Ron also makes his own incense, and oils, and had the pieces wrapped in scented tissue, No Beth is not blowing her nose,, lol,, the stuff was awesome Im saving mine for my alter,, we got to bring home incense as well for blessing our necklace.

It was a great time.  Kat was sick and missed out, which sucks, but everyone seemed to have so much fun, we learned alot, (I like learning) we had a great  time together being our goofy fun loving selves, :) <3

Friday, March 2, 2012

Elementary Elements & Energy

Merry Meet, and welcome again, I am enjoying the time I spend doing the Pagan blog project, and look forward each week to coming up with something that I hope to be a different prescriptive.  I also look forward to the feedback so please comment, if I have missed something, or shared something that in fact you learned from.

Week 9 already,, and we are at E,,, I thought eww,, but then I thought what did you learn first,, that must be my guides because the first thing that came to mind was elements. 

We all use  them, some of us differently, but they are all the same.  I love the elements of nature. Recently a sort of funny topic came up with a sister witch that turned into a great time, we where in the heart of a pretty major wind storm, and she had commented on her status that she loved the wind the power and force, the way it blows her hair around, the smell of the rain, or snow that will follow, being me, I added that it was almost sensual for me in that the way that it touches me, exciting and unpredictable, well it went on from there.. but in truth, all the elements have a great effect on me personally and Im sure to others as well

Earth, Air, Fire, and Water, what they are and mean to me, is that of complete and true beauty.  Each of them in there own fascinating, and sometimes dangerous ways. I worship all of them, Yes Worship, them all. I cant even say that I have a favorite, because each of them are special to me for there own qualities, and if this where a topic for anything other then the PBP some would say "that chick is a freak"  

Earth, wow, Gaea, her beauty is for ever and everyday changing.  Her bounty the gifts she gives us from the food that we eat to the flowers in the fields, and along the mountains cliffs, she is in herself are a whole topic.  I love climbing trees, exploring paths that go seemingly no where, but end up in a beautiful forest thick with smells of her, almost musky scent.  If I could I would post the pictures I've taken, some of them less then a 5 minute walk from my back door, but that is the freak in me.  One of my favorite ways to spend time worshiping her is by walking barefoot on her.  I love the feel of her underneath me she is a great life force for me, and there is so much energy to be gained just by spending quiet time laying down on her, and watching the the clouds go by. Which takes us to... 

Air, air goes everywhere, and anywhere it wants to, or needs to.  Also a life force in it's self. Another whole topic. How we depend on air, really enough said thats just silly, we all breath, but have you ever (and if your spiritual being you have)  taken the time to really feel the air. His scent, on a hot day, where you think you can hardly breath because of the air being so thick, but it's also there, in layers and layers of wealth, and on a cold day when the crispness of him is almost visible, you can see it when you breath.   The wind and that force, is just so incredible and again so much energy.  On a windy day I love sitting outside and using the force of the wind to recharge my spiritual battery.  

Fire, without air would not be, science is not a good topic for me because I dont know it well, but I do know that with out air fire would suffocate. I know that with out fire we would also.  Why?  The sun has to shine, even on rainy days it's there, you dont see it, but it is there. Hmm,, the sun, another whole topic.  What does he do Apollo?  another topic,,  but with out the sun and his force again we would not live.  The air and his wind carry seeds through the air to Gaea, the sun helps to make them grow, for me as a California native, the sun is a thing of true beauty, really what would I have done with out it's force's before prom to make me look beautiful in the summer dress I chose. (wink wink)  Nothing is greater then sitting on the porch and feeling the suns heat upon my skin, this to me is just a warm loving feeling, even through a window in my kitchen. (the romance in me maybe)  Fire now that is energy, try sometime if your able to start a fire, be prepared, make sure your allowed and can handle it in case of  emergencies, and use common sense and caution.  I live in an area where burning is common, luckily in an area that for the most part they dont care what day it is as long as it's not Sunday.  So I can go out and burn.  This time of year is great because from the winter we have branch's to gather limbs that have fallen, ect and can burn.  His energy is also overwhelming and unpredictable.  The energy gained from watching a fire is so exciting, for me again spiritual, and yes I find it to be very romantic, and charges a sensual energy for me, but candles do the same.  So Im just a freak okay.. :P

Water,, again Wow!! I think water is just wonderful in all ways.  I swim, I love to swim in fact. Water skiing, and surfing used to be in the day my favorite sports,, (hate getting older)  but you could not get me out of the water, and at times it's still hard.  Again Im fortunate to live where we do, although Im not in Cali anymore,, I miss the salt water we do have lakes, and rivers.  The rivers here you have to be careful in I here that even if your a great swimmer there is no stopping a sink hole.. that does not stop me from getting in,, and swimming,, (drive's my sweetheart nuts, he does not swim, nor does he like water)  In Cali I used to love the way the oceans currents would take me out, and out and out,, then me and my board would go against the laws, and ride back in,, :) :) :)  talk about a rush!!  Here with the rivers and lakes it's not quiet the same,, but still pretty awesome,, I love the challenge. (the freak in me is showing, if you challenge me,, I will do it. lol. :P  More then that though standing in the rain, or even before it begins when you can smell it coming, gaining that energy is awesome, and also recharges batteries that could be in need of a major boost.  Something I love to do is and have since I was kid, which I also allowed my kids to do, on a summer day when it rains,, go play, puddle jump, it's goofy, and sometimes messy but do it anyway, for me it is freeing, and yeah it's almost like breaking a rule, which to me makes it even more exciting, because it's harmless. Water can cleanse the earth, and drown a fire. Between the qualities of his forces in lakes rivers or oceans, and that of just a hot bath, energy can be gained.

To close I will say that with each of these elements each of them there own topic, so much is to be gained from them,, they are all so special,, and you know what else Witch or not, no one can deny not one of them, there force's of nature, for witch's there energy. What some would call a horrible rain storm, I call fun,, lets dance.  Blessed Be everyone hope you enjoyed and please comment, if I forgot something, or you have something to share please do.. LK

Friday, February 24, 2012

Deity a personal choice

Merry Meet, and welcome to week 8 of the Pagan blog project, thank you for allowing me to share what I have learned, and please feel free to comment, Im very much about the feedback good or bad.  I like to know if I've missed something, or if you have learned something. 

Deities, Wow pretty broad area, indeed.  There really are dozens upon dozens of them.  What I know for sure from experience is that when choosing your Deity you should choose wisely, do your research, find out everything about the Deity you choose that you can.  What are there gifts, or spouse's, do they have children.  Where do they live, and what is it that they like, if it's flowers, or fire, try to gift them with such things.  I also know that, well for me anyway, you would want to represent your self worthy of the God or Goddess your asking helping from, I always do a cleansing bath with sea salts, and lavender.  Do a good meditation first and by all means no matter what, call on them only when you can be completely uninterrupted.  That to me is just good manners. 

Whether you choose the same the Deity for all your magical work, or you pick and choose only the ones you need for a particular reason be educated, dont guess and be polite.  I suppose the same rules would apply as going to church.  I like to think about it as having highly respected family member visiting, and show them as much love and respect I would a beloved great grandmother. 

I know that for me anyway I get directed and  very assuredly, this sort of thing started to happen right about the same time as my sobriety date, no coincidence Im sure. I dont always feel the same presence but I have a Goddess with me at all times.  For the most part  I believe that Gaia is the Goddess that directs me.  I feel very strongly about earth, and her well being.  I enjoy spending time outdoors, and exploring all that she has to offer, and for me it's a very direct pull. I also am very protective and will voice my opinion about people taking advantage of her resources.  There are other times however that I feel others there just guiding me, so what ever your belief is on the Deities, be prepared.  I know that my life was changed by accepting the love, and opening my heart, mind and body for there use, it is my daily prayer that Gaia's love reflects in me, that she show's me daily the steps I need to take. Blessed Be with love and light as always. 

Thursday, February 23, 2012

I have had an epiphany !

I have had an epiphany, again, this has been happening to me a lot lately.  I like to think of it as Goddess telling me what I need to do.

So let me share, which is what she is telling me to do.  I have only just touched on that Im a recovering alcoholic, I have not shared the how I became to be who I am now, and what it is I hope to gain from doing these blogs.  

The pagan blog project came to me, and I was very excited to work with other Witch's /Wiccan's / Pagan's ,, I feel myself "new again" as I had lost so much during my career as an alcoholic.  Hence "New Beginings"  Im not sure if you would know what alcohol can do to a person's mind, or body.  From my mind it stole important information, that I am relearning, from by body it stole years that I will never get back,  It also stole self confidence, and brought to me instead self loathing, and doubt, some of which I still struggle with from time to time.  I have been inspired by other women that In my opinion are Priestess's of love & light, and I trust them, respect there work, and follow as examples of what I would hope to become one day. 

Learn to get in touch with silence within yourself, and know that everything in this life has purpose. There are no mistakes, no coincidences, all events are blessings given to us to learn from.
Elizabeth Kubler-Ross

On September first of 2009, my first epiphany come to me, again Im calling her the Goddess directing me, as it got me sober.  It struck me brighter then any ray of sunshine through darkness that I had covered myself in,, I was shown love, I was shown gratitude,  It was as if someone dipped me the cleanest bath I've ever had, and said okay Kandy, now you got work to do,  show them who you are, and let me reflect in you.  I have not picked up since.  To some of you, you might think "no way" that did'nt happen, she's making it up,,, Im telling you no I am not,  It is what I felt, what touched me, it was a gentle reminder that life is beautiful and I was wasting it,  I had over a half of a bottle of vodka that day, my intentions where to finish it with the day, I threw it out. 

Since then, I have been "relearning" all that I have forgotten.  and because of recovery I also learned a few new things mostly about myself, about others, and really just about life in general.  I've also learned that even though Im new again.  I may have something to offer,, to another new person.  But my thoughts where, at the time that pagan blog project started,  maybe if I tell others what Im doing some other Wiccan, Pagan, Witch, Sender of love and light,, what ever you call yourself,, lol :)) will see what I have done, or am doing and either say, "hey Kandy, you forgot about this part"   or "can I tell you something more about (fill in the blank) ?"   You know something even if a new comer came and said "you know more about this then I, where do I start?"  Then I have helped someone.  That would be a blessing.  So I will take what I can get for now, live each day to the fullest, or at least attempt to.  I appreciate so much more now, I find humor in the strangest things, and I have a new respect for my faith, and for me. 

In "the program" of AA there is a saying, it's "now share what you have"  If you want what we have you too can receive it, it's worth the effort though the steps are hard.  I want to share what I have with who ever will take it, I volunteer at the food bank because I received food from there when I was to busy getting drunk.  I have "cause's" now that I feel very strongly about mostly because I've lived them Domestic Violence, Homelessness, Animal rights, to name a few. I want to give back, but I also want to receive as well.  So Im calling all Wiccans new, and older to the craft, if I have something I will share, If I missed something, or If you feel compelled to share with me via these blogs then please do,, it's the feedback that I will be looking for, and learning from,, 

Thank you so much for your time in reading this,, I do have a tenancy to ramble when I get excited about things.  I hope that you will get to know me better, and  I you, with your thoughts and ideas as well.. Blessed Be with love and light, my She who holds me, hold you as well. Namaste )0(

Saturday, February 18, 2012

Diana Myth Legend Goddess

Merry Meet & welcome to week 7 of the Pagan Blog Project this weeks letter is D.

I decided and Im sure that there where many who did also, to discuss Diana.  I am new again, to the Wiccan circle so I am still a little gray in some aspects.  Those area's where I am unfamiler with are the one's that I find to be the best to research. :) Just me getting comfortable again.

So who is Diana? She is a wonderful and much loved Goddess by many witch's. I would say the most called upon. Diana is the Goddess of the moon, hunt, animals, child birth, fertility, she would be called upon for protection in domestic situation's siding for the women. Please a word of advice, should you call on her make sure to follow all the steps required for presenting your self to a Goddess.  That would be a ritual bath, dress or undress, which ever you are comfortable with, and be well rested. Meditation is a good idea also. Be organized. 

Diana has many myths & Legends written about her. Myth, an origin of the world & it's people. Explains mysteries, sacred in nature or supernatural. Myths represent reality.  Legends are stories or collections of stories handed down from generation to generation, and are historical in nature.

So if you look up Diana you will here many wonderful myths and legends about her.  Depending on whether you like the Greek or Roman Goddess you will find Diana.  Who is also known as Artemis,  and or Luna.  The myth & one of my favorite is that she is the daughter of Zeus.  that would be Greek Artemis, same Goddess. Her stories are all similar in that she was unhappy with her father being a cheater, and vowed to never marry.  She has a twin brother Apollo, who is also one of her closest allies. Confident.  She travels with dogs, and woodland nymphs, she is the virgin Goddess, and carries a bow like her brother, a skilled hunter, defender of the week, or unprotected.  In Roman stories she is the daughter of Jupiter and Latona her twin is still Apollo. 

One of my favorite myths as I started earlier is where Artemis Diana Luna does fall in love and in a match between her beloved Orion, and her brother he falls.  In some pictures you will see her shooting at the stars that is the reason, for she shoots the stars for the love of Orion. So if you choose Diana as your Goddess you will find her to be compassionate in matters of love as well. 

Trust me when I say she has many great myths and legends, her stories can even be found in the bible, and she had her hand in the battles of Troy as well. She makes excellent material for bedtimes stories, and movies :) :)