Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Missing in Action

I cant apologize tor my absenteeism,, we had a death in the family, and in all honesty my mind has been on other things,,

Now I think I can share. Those that know me know that Im newly recovering,, death is one of the many things that I have never dealt well with, and I have to admit that this one Im actually proud that the thought never entered my mind,, I still did not handle this death as well as I could have, but I am a work in progress,, angry and hurt is all  part of the natural process.  So with that Im right on time, 

Maybe it's just me,, but spiritually, I have never in my life felt this happy, this content knowing that things will work out the way they are ment to no matter the interference from us. I cried of course, more for my brother then for the loss of my nephew,, my brother and I are very close,, and Little Bobby was his oldest child,, I can only imagine what he had to be feeling.  Little Bobby and I where not close, we had age, time and distance that separated us, still I tried to go to the memorial,, and you know if  it's Goddess's plan,, I still will,, I know Im not fighting for it anymore, that everything happens for reason.

That brings me to the point of this blog,, since recovery, and then my coming back to my path, the amount of structure, and spirituality  has changed in me.  In the past I would automatically looked for an outlet, or a hiding place for this pain, now I know so many other ways, I am grateful today, I can meditate, I can take a walk and talk to Goddess,, and actually feel the security she gives me.  Im not lonely because I can tell that my guides are there,, when I cry, or get angry today I know that my feelings are justified, and that it is okay to feel them,, I dont have the doubts anymore, and I dont need validation from anyone to tell me that it's okay.  Today when I look at things I look at them from different eyes, and  a more grateful heart. I see beauty in everything.  I look for the good, and not the bad.  Today life is beautiful,, and death as grievous as it is,, it is not something to weep over really,, it should be in fact something to rejoice about.   Im grateful for the opportunity  to now know the difference, in what really matters,, to love now like you dont know if tomorrow will be here,, because you know what,, you dont,, and you know what else,, today I dont fear that,, and I do not have regrets.  What a blessing it is to let my wings out and grow, Im looking forward to the lessons, with an open heart, and mind,, Bright Blessings with love and light. Lady Kane
Clouds come into my life, no longer carry rain or usher storms,  but add color to my  sunset sky~Rabndranath Taggor~

No comments:

Post a Comment